It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
True college students do jello shots in the library
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