I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
