Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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