Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
