I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
