I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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