Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
