If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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