it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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