Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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