My room smells like vodka and shame
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
