Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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