that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
