i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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