Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
