More tranny stories later!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
