Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
