so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
