So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
