I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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