Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
