I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
