I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
