She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
