well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
