So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
