dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
