Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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