sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
