It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
