Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
