There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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