The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
