Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
