Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
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