She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
