Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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