i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
