Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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