I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
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I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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