so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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