I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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