You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
