I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
