Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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