every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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