I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
