my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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