I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
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How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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