i don't like sucking hair
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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