I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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