Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
