I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
