ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She announced her abortion via fbk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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