i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize