Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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