my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
