i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
